


id like to believe in all the possibilities

by vripsa



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vripsa/pseuds/vripsa
Summary: Post retcon Vriska and Terezi now have all the time on the meteor to bond.It sort of gets interrupted, and then shattered.It's getting late, and ICannot seem to find my way home tonightFeels like I am falling down a rabbit holeFalling for forever, wonderfully wandering aloneWhat would my head be likeIf not for my shouldersOr without your smileMay it follow you foreverMay it never leave youTo sleep in the stone, may weStay lost on our way home?





	id like to believe in all the possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> underage only cuz they're 16 on the meteor.
> 
> dedicated to my favorite lovely terezi. <>

They're in the farthest corner of the hall farthest from the lab. It's dark, it's quiet, and was it mentioned that it was far from the lab? Far away as possible. From the lab.

But as close as possible to each other.

Terezi is pressed tight against Vriska, chest to chest, ass to lap, pinning her to the wall with her weight. Vriska's head is tucked snug to the crook of Terezi's shoulder, underneath her ear, buried in her hair. Her lips glide over Terezi's sharp collarbones, and it sends a shiver down the tealblood's spine. It reverberates against Vriska, and she groans.

Terezi, on the other hand, has a hand gripped around Vriska's horn, using the leverage to keep her against the wall. Her free hand is gliding along Vriskas thigh, just barely touching between them. Vriska shudders.

Her hand quickly slides up Vriska's body – her hips, along her chest, up to her neck. She squeezes, and Vriska's eyes roll back, her face dusted with a dark cerulean. A choked whimper escapes her throat.

"Look at me," Terezi demands, and Vriska's eyes snap open. She looks hard into the red of Terezi's own eyes, her threatening gaze making her burn that same red from head to toe.

Terezi grins her wild grin, teeth poking out over her bottom lip in every which direction, and God does Vriska want her to just sink those into her shoulder and make her bleed, make her hurt, make her cry.

But that's only for blackrom. _This is strictly red,_ Vriska reminds herself, _no one can hurt you here. No one_ wants _to hurt you here._

"You know I do this for that face you make, Vris," and her grin grows eightfold. Vriska smiles as well, but she's a little woozy so it's... lopsided. "You love it, huh?"

"Yes, I–" Vriska wheezes as her throat is squeezed, but picks up when Terezi lets her grip falter. "I'm getting what I deserve, fuck, please." Tears poke at the corners of her eyes, her lips wavering. The lump in her throat is now a threat to cry rather than the pressure from Terezi's hand...

...which gets yanked away. Terezi seems immediately mortified, her wicked grin gone in an instant. Her hand that was just squeezing Vriska now twitches beside her face, unsure whether or not she wants to cup Vriska's face or not.

Her chest burns. What the the fuck was that?

"Vriska," she begins. She masks the panic, the fear, the confusion that dares to push through her voice. "What the hell are you talking about? Are you vacillating on me here? I love you, I pity you," she pleads. "You know that."

She lets out a nervous laugh, just something to comfort Vriska. Hopefully. Terezi's laugh is so familiar to her.

"I know I'm a slut for justice and all, but you really don't have to take it that far, I've already taken care of it– hey, no," Terezi blurts. Her façade shatters, and she lets her voice quiver in confusion. "Vriska, please don't cry!"

Clear cerulean lines stain Vriska's cheeks. She's already heaving a sob, her whole body shaking, and she instantly reaches to cover her face, pressing her forehead hard into the collar of her jacket.

"I did so much shit, you should do all this shit back to me, it's the fucking least you can do to me. Make me feel bad about myself. _Please_ tell me how awful I am for doing all that," she wails, muffled. She's stuttering, sniveling, can't keep her voice straight. "I fucked everything up with you especially, you were gone for so long and now you're here and I don't know why–"

" _Shut up!_ "

Fuck.

Now Vriska's silent, and her eyes are wide. Her lips still tremble. It's so fucking pitiful.

"I didn't mean to yell, I'm sorry, but seriously. What the hell are you going on about?"

Vriska pauses again and swallows, trying to settle herself enough to speak coherently.

"God, Tez, I've done so many shitty things in my life. You're blind because of me. You can't see me right now because of me. I wanted to make you pay, and I did, but it was for something that was my own goddamn fault in the first place! Why the hell would I do that, Terezi? What is wrong with me?

"I ruined the whole flarping thing we had going on. You were one of the best friends I'd ever had on Alternia, one of the only ones. I know you're an asshat, a little shit, you're mean, but you were never mean to me. Only playfully bitchy, which was rightfully deserved.

"But now... now I rightfully deserve so much more than what I've been paid with. It's not fair. I look back on all of it now, and Terezi, I want to fucking die. There's so much that runs through my head everyday, how sorry I am, how much I just want to start over.

"My whole motif, my whole existence is supposed to be badass. I'm this badass bitch who's loud, who's cocky, who's a self-centered dumbass. But I'm not anymore. Not– not as much as before, at least. It's gone now and guilt replaced it. I pretend like it's not there, I run away from it, I try to be proud of all the things I've done like I used to be proud. I was feared, and I loved it.

"But now it's all just guilt, it's all fucking guilt. I haven't been made to pay enough. It's not enough. Just... when you hurt me, I feel like you're getting back at me. Like it's an apology you're ripping straight out of me. It feels good.

"Take back everything I've ruined and run away from me with it. I just want my apology to be enough, but... I know it'll never be enough, so I want the universe to dig its claws in and pull out whatever it needs from me to make things even a little bit better."

A tear drips from Terezi's cheek onto the top of Vriska's head. She's absolutely floored and has no idea what to say.

All she can do is loop her arms around Vriska, holding her tight, and gently rub her back in silence. Vriska starts crying again.

It takes her a moment to form a thought. She knows it's going to come out blunt and harsh, but when has she ever beaten around the bush with Vriska?

"Vris, babe, listen to me. You hurt me. You hurt everybody. I know, we know, all of us know you did so much to doom us all. But we're not doomed. I know we're doing this, we're not dying, we're getting out and winning this damn game all because you're here. It's what's gotten us this far, Vriska. Trust me. We're still here. _I'm_ here. In your lap. You are such... such a dumbass, Vriska," she says whole heartedly, kindly, with a quiet chuckle, which makes her matesprit look up. "Listen.

"I know it hurts. The guilt isn't going to go away, but instead of letting the universe pull an apology out of you, apologize for yourself. Nothing will be done by moping on your damn ass like this." Terezi sighs when Vriska chokes out yet another sob. It hurts. "If it helps, at all, I forgive you.

"Would I be in your lap if I didn't forgive you?"

That makes Vriska look up. Her eyes are puffy and bloodshot, but she manages a wavering smile.

"Asshole," she jabs, and she cackles. Which would otherwise be terrifying, but it's Vriska that's being talked about here. Also Terezi. Terezi cackles with her.

Their laughs echo through the halls, and Terezi suddenly snaps her hand over Vriska's mouth.

"Shush," she whispers, upturning her nose. She scouts for anyone who could have heard, but instead gets a noseful of blue and red and black and heartbroken. It makes her chest feel like a thousand butterflies are beating their wings underneath her ribs.

"...perhaps I'll indulge you in your guilty pleasures, you criminal," she drawls. If this is what Vriska wants, then this is what she'll get. It makes Vriska's entire face perk up, one last sniffle leaving her nose before she stops crying altogether.

"I'm gonna tell you how much I love you and what you've done good so far and make your dumb stupid head shut up about your old bad self!!! Into the interrogation room you go, you fiend!"

They kiss, and they cackle like the thirteen year olds they used to be, rolling in the grass and playing with her friends.

She wants Vriska to feel like that again.


End file.
